Long Time, No See

Well it has been almost a year since my last blog post! Maybe that is just a reflection of how crazy a PhD program is when you enter the final year. Things have been pretty hectic. Everything I thought I knew, I was told I didn't actually know!

The whole scope of my thesis has pretty much changed in the last few months... while I have run six studies in my time here only 3 will be included in my thesis + a meta-analysis... which I have yet to start as I am don't even know exactly where to start with that.

Now I am just trucking along, trying not to lose hope that I will actually finish this darn program some day. I am ready to stop hemorrhaging money and start earning it... I just have to keep my brave face on and push through the pain. It will all be worth it in the end.

Until next time, stay mighty!

And We're Off... Again!

Study 4 is now up and running! It got launched Thursday of last week through all of my regular mediums - advertising on forums, e-mails, facebook, mailing lists, etc. This upcoming week we will release it on Mechanical Turk. I've never used something like this to recruit participants, so it will be interesting to see how it goes. I am lucky enough to have a fiance that is a computer programmer - so he has made this whole thing a lot easier! There was no easy way to import a survey from an external site into Mechanical Turk so he had to come up with a bit of code for me. He is the best of the best so it should all work fine when we launch it next week - but I guess we won't know until it is up! I just hope there isn't a glitch where someone can do the survey over and over and use up the set amount of money there is to pay participants!

We are hoping to get about 500 participants this round. The more the better, of course. Especially though as this is a replication study we need to NOT have the biased sample we ended up with before. I find it is getting harder to recruit participants these days... especially for a survey study that is as long as mine (takes about 30 minutes to complete). On the one hand I can understand as it is fairly long... but on the other hand I don't really understand how people could not want to contribute their mind to science. You grow up reading about different studies and the results of them... how could you pass up the opportunity to be one of those people who is counted in. One of the people who make up the average. I dunno, maybe I'm just weird cause I find that awesome... maybe that is why I have decided to pursue a career in science ;)

That is all for now!

*poof*

Writing, writing, writing....

It has been a while since an update! I am really slacking!

Well lets see... since my upgrade I have completed a 3rd study looking into sociability and online gaming. That study is now done and dusted and I am just finishing the write-up on it so my supervisor and I can submit it to be published. How awesome would that be? I think that the study itself is actually quite good and hopefully reviewers will think the same.

As far as progressing forward, it looks like the next study is going to be a replication of study 3. Due to the fact that my sample was insanely unbalanced the first time around, this will allow us to try and see if the same effects are visible in a balanced sample. If we find that it will not only strengthen our original findings, but also allow me to use this as a starting off point for my 5th study.

I am a little concerned that I am supposed to have 6 studies done by December... as the writing up of the dissertation process is supposed to start in Jan of next year. Having a replication study in the mix does make that a little more feasible but still... it's crunch time!

I am recently been accepted to present at two separate conferences in June - one in Stockholm and one in Germany. Sadly the one in Stockholm is insanely expensive (They want 450 pounds just for the registration fee!!) so I am going to have to pass on that one :( I am very excited for the Germany one though! Especially cause M. Griffiths and R. Bartle are the keynote speakers! Also super excited cause I get to present study 3 which I think is my best work to date. But the best part? Rex is going to fly out and spend a few days with me in Germany before the conference :)

That's all for now!

P.S. That vacation I talked about in my last post, was the best I ever had. American Idiot was unbelievably amazing.. Just unbelievable.

Upgrade!

Well I have finally been upgraded - I am officially a PhD student. While it did not go as smoothly as possible at least it is finally over and a decision was made in my favor. While I know I will basically have to rewrite everything I have submitted thus far, at least I have a good rough version of the first 3 chapters of my dissertation.

It is almost Christmas! There is enough snow outside that it would make it impossible not to notice it is that time of year. Hopefully the snow will decide to stop falling at some point so I can fly home for New Years! I am so excited to be spending New Years Eve in Las Vegas with Rex and my Mom! I can't wait! Then off to NYC to see "American Idiot" - with Billie Joe playing St. Jimmy! This is going to be the best vacation I have ever had... I can tell already!

Saturday I will be cooking my flat a Christmas Lasagna to celebrate the holidays! Should be fun :)

Until next time...

Lit Review Woes..

Well it is coming close to the end of my first year as a PhD student here and that means it is time to submit a literature review + proof of experimental work in order to officially be upgraded from an MPhil to a PhD student. While I have already submitted two different versions of a lit review to my supervisor.. I am currently working on a third version. This is the kind of work that no matter how long you have to finish it, you could always add/rewrite/reorganize...

At least my proof of experimental work is taken care of - I have already completed and written up two experiments and am currently in the planning stages of a third study that will revolve around the idea of social competence.

In other news, the end of my first year of my PhD also marks the end of the Master's courses.. since they are an obscenely short one year here in the UK. I have made a few really close friends who are on the Master's course and sadly I am having to see most of them go. The last week or so I have been in a super-heightened state of anxiety due to the fact that 1) my Master's friends are leaving me (/clings) 2) the deadline for my lit review is looming 3) I am soon moving in to my new accommodation and need to pack my inordinate amount of things and 4) that I have to get everything ready to go before I leave to go home and visit America (Finally!) in the middle of October.

It is like a cluster of all these things going on.. and it is leading me to a mild nervous breakdown! /deep breath

On a side note, it is pretty amazing how you can form lifelong relationships in only the span of one year. Once the realization came that they would be leaving, I realized how close I really am to some of them. I guess it just goes to show that there are simply some people in the world you just 'click' with and once you meet them you grow close at an accelerated rate. Who knew that they were hiding from me on the other side of the world though!

Until next time...

Stereotype Threat and Me

So my second experiment has come to a close... and the data is crap.

I was really thinking we would find a significant effect but alas.. science can be fickle. I can take solace in the fact that the world is the way it is.. I am just trying to measure it. Therefore, since there was no significant effect.. it isn't really my fault per say - it is just the way the world is.

I am now trying to write it up and make sense of all the numbers on my screen. Problem is that Julian is putting more stuff on my plate before I have even finished consolidating all the stuff from this study! This morning while I was still running ANOVAs and writing my methods section I get an e-mail from him containing a load of articles on social competence. While I do appreciate that he took the time to find some literature for me, it also made me feel slightly incompetent as he stated in his e-mail that he did a brief search and found loads of things. Whereas a few days ago, when I was in a meeting with him, I told him I did a brief search and all I could find was studies done with children. Which is true.. but I digress..

In this e-mail he also mentions that in addition to the data analysis that I am doing, and the writing up of the study I am doing, I should start reading the social competence literature and start developing a study around social competence. Now.. I agree with this statement.. however I wasn't planning on actually thinking about that until I had finished steps 1 and 2 - i.e. data analysis and writing up the study.

I guess I am just feeling the pressure of my PhD right now.. not only do I have to tie everything up on my second study (which will take some time as I have to actually sit with my data and the literature and decide what my crap non-significant results mean... which has to be more than just saying "my hypothesis wasn't supported), I have to start reading about and developing another study, AND work on my literature review.. which I have about 5 weeks to finish.

/sigh.

Maybe a cookie will make me feel better..

Deparmental Talk I

On Wednesday I had to give my first departmental talk - and it went pretty well. While I was nervous up there I think I was able to pull off the illusion I wasn't 'too' horribly nervous and those who asked questions made sure to ask nice ones :)

The next day I had my second research committee meeting and that also went well. We talked about possibilities for what I could do at Blizzcon (qualitative research seems to be the consensus at the moment, but we will see if that changes as Blizzcon gets closer), as well as possible suggestions for some side-projects that could be done while I am running my stereotype threat experiment. They really are pushing for me to complete my lit review by October, which I think is a doable goal so I am going to aim for that.

Lets see, what else... today I went to GBK and had a chicken/cranberry/Camembert burger which was heaven while I was eating it but omg did I want to throw it up 20 minutes later. Too rich for my blood.. and I don't think the vanilla milkshake helped my cause :( Not sure if I will eat that combination again because it is still feeling heavy in my stomach and I ate it like 5 hours ago...

I was hoping to go out for a jog today, which it still could happen but Hannah's housewarming party is in an hour or so - so it would have to be after that. We'll see how it goes... I have a feeling working-out isn't going to make it into my schedule today :( Which is unfortunate, but then again I'd probably get cramps when I starting running due to the massive burger sitting in my tummy.

Until next time..

Stereotype Threat

Well it has come time to start working on my second experiment this year which is going to revolve around this idea of stereotype threat. It is actually really interesting how someones performance can be altered just from the mere mention of a stereotype that they would be affected by. For example, give a woman a math test without saying anything and she will perform as well as a man. Give her the same test and tell her that it has shown gender differences (which primes her to think about the general stereotype that men are better at math than women) and she will perform significantly worse.

Currently I am trying to figure out how I am going to measure this construct with my population. I have a few ideas which I have thrown out to my supervisor and he seems supportive - however it is up to me to put all these ideas together. I know that I am capable of doing such a thing, but I just don't want to get too ahead of myself. Supervisors are there to rein you in and make sure you aren't going after the big picture head first and instead are taking things one manageable step at a time... so I don't know. On Friday I was in the office for 10 hours or so working on this project and thinking in the back of my head that I hope when I show my work to my supervisor he doesn't shit all over it :P

Hmm.. lets see what else has been going on. Not too much I guess. Lisa is finally back from Manchester so that's good.. been hanging out with her and Jeff mostly :) It is going to be so horrible when Jeff goes back to Maryland in the summer... what am I going to do?! He's my rock here :( Guess I will have to manage somehow, especially considering he can't wait to get back home.. he is literally counting the days! Guess I am just lucky he didn't leave in December like he wanted to.

Alright, laundry time! Over and out!

Easter break

It is time for an update I suppose... it has been a while since my last report. Since I last posted quite a bit has happened. First of all, I finished my first experiment and have jotted it all down into a neat 25 minute presentation. I gave this presentation to my lab group (a meeting of the forensic, social, and personality psychologists in the department) and it went over quite well. Next step will be to give the same presentation to the entire department in May, and then a gamers conference in Bedfordshire in June.

Oh yes, I also made a trip to Amsterdam with Jeff! It was a lot of fun and nice to see another country. It really is a beautiful city with lots to see and do! (The Van Gogh museum was a highlight ^^)

Currently I am (attempting to) reading about stereotype threat. My supervisor wants me to have a comprehensive review of the literature on this topic and bust out an essay for him to revise at the end of Easter break. However, the last few days I have been more interested in playing the Sims 3 than reading about this... but I'm trying to force some motivation and get it done. At least I have all my marking done already...

Lets see..what else.. oh yes! Rex will be here tomorrow. After an extremely rough few days in Texas he is heading over here to relax with me in Bath. Hopefully we will be able to make a trip to Stonehenge and check out a wonder of the ancient world :)

Term Two has begun!

Been a while since my last update - so here we go.. /deep breath

Term one finished on an "okay" note.. I ended up getting a 58 in statistics (which is not as bad as it sounds my American friends... a 58 here is like a C+/B-). I am not very happy with this mark but it is what it is and it is a passing grade.. (all I needed was to get above a 50). Apparently in PhD land we have earned the right to have grades not matter - they are recorded per say but they don't count for or against you. So I'll have to learn to live with that.

Term two has started now and I only have one class - Professional and Generic skills II. I am currently trying to place out of it based on the previous classes I have taken (hopefully I will be able to). This class is pretty much a waste of time.. they are teaching us things that 1) I have already been instructed on and 2) are pretty much common sense. Yes... we know how to give a powerpoint presentation... we have been giving them since high school... ;)

I had my first research committee meeting this week! I was very nervous but it turned out to be not as bad as expected. At one point a member of my committee asked me how my research was going to contribute to "science" in general. I almost died when he asked me that! But somehow I busted out a coherent answer and even got a "Good answer" response out of him! So... yay me :)

As for now I am just continuing with my literature survey... which means reading, reading, and more reading. Oh yeah, and reading. I am also preparing for my first experiment (so exciting!). The guy in the tech office is dragging his feet on giving me access to the server so I can format my survey... but other than that it is pretty much planned out. Just have to execute!

Until next time... Ciao!

It is almost the end...... of Term 1!

Tomorrow is my statistics final and after taking that it will mark the end of my first term here. Honestly, it went by super fast! Through the last 10 weeks I have learned the basics of statistics, attended a lot of talks about a variety of psychological phenomena, and finally figured out what my dissertation research question will be.

It is kind of crazy the roads my dissertation idea has gone down... it has changed quite a lot. I came here with the idea of doing something about internet gaming immersion and adaptive functioning...

which turned into doing research on the role of play and learning for adults through online video games as compared to the role of play in children..

which turned in to internet games as a teaching tool for the socially inhibited...

which then became researching the formation of stereotypes..

which then turned in to what is is now which is studying the formation of stereotypes on online gamers. Basically what are the stereotypes of internet gamers and why and how have they formed.

I'm really liking what my research question has landed on since it seems like a perfect combination of my research interests (internet gaming) and my supervisors interests (stereotypes).

Well guess I should get back to studying for statistics.. not sure my brain can take much more of these formulas but I have to try!

Ugg...

So this morning I finally got to sleep in and I go down to have a smoke. While down there, I walked over to the laundry place to see if any machines are open because I need to do my laundry. I peek in and see there are 4 machines that are not in use (4 out of 6 total so it was pretty shocking). So I race back to my room, grab my laundry, my money, and my soap and go back to the launderette. When I get there, there is some guy there putting his stuff into 2 machines. I initially think that is pretty rude considering there are only 6 machines total for the entirety of Wentworth (which is about 400 students) but I figure hey, there are 2 machines still open. I go over to machine number 6 and there is a note on it saying it is out of order. I scoot over to machine number 5 and there is a sign on that one as well that it is out of order. /sigh

We only have 6 machines to begin with and now 2 of them don't work! How is anyone supposed to get their laundry done :(

So...dejected, I walked back to my room and now I have to wait an hour and hope to sneak my stuff into Mr. Rude Guy's machine when his laundry is done.

Oh! And to top it off... the sign on the number 5 machine was on the floor under it.. so I stuck my 2 pounds in there and then when I knelt to put my stuff in I saw the sign... so not only did I not get to do my laundry - I paid 2 pounds into a broken machine (It won't give me my money back - /cry)

I survived week 1!

Well actually, I have survived the first two weeks - the week of orientation and the first week of lectures. Orientation week was pretty uneventful, I went to a bunch of talks that taught me nothing and pretty much wasted my time. Although, I did meet some nice people during that time so I guess it wasn't all for nothing. One of the people I met was Jeff - an American (yay!). He is from Maryland and is getting his MSc in Forensic Linguistics (impressive, I know). Since we met we have hung out a bunch of times and I like him very much. He's fun!

During orientation week I also met Eva and Adele... from Greece and France, respectively. Eva and I have hung out a bunch of times, had expeditions to the local Morrisons, and shared a few dinners. Eva, Adele, and I are even going to dress up and hit up the Halloween Party on Friday. I think Adele is going to be a vampire and Eva is gonna be a devil... my plan is to be a bumble bee but we will see if that costume fits when it arrives :P

The first week of lectures was okay. Stats is pretty much over my head though. What the professor covered in the first lecture is probably what I learned in the first 4 months of my first statistics class in undergrad. So I think I need to focus a lot of time on statistics or I am going to be totally left behind. The Contemporary Issues class is okay... basically every week a different professor will come in and lecture on something pertinent to our research life. For example, the first lecture was put on by Dr. Andrew Monk and he taught us the process of getting our experiment through the ethics committee. I think we will have to write papers for that class but no one has explained that to us, so we'll see if we hear anything about it this week.

I have also started some reading relating to my dissertation... my supervisor suggested that I read "Mind, Self, & Society" by H.G. Mead. I am about 30 pages in and it isn't too bad so far. Some of the concepts make me think "wha?" but most of it makes sense. I think it will provide me with a lot of information to base my lit review on... which is the goal of my 1st year here - produce a 4,000 word lit review.

Well that is all for now! I'm still alive and managing to make it through the days here... athough..the washing machine did eat my money today. Gah, guess nothing can run smoothly.

I am here!

So I arrived in York a few days ago and a lot has happened since I got here. After what seemed like a *zillion* hours of travel my Dad and I finally made it to the city. The first day we explored the town a lot and bought a bunch of things that I needed - a computer printer, a hair straightener, pots and pans, dishes, etc. I also was able to meet my supervisor, Dr. Oldmeadow. I think him and I are going to get along wonderfully! We talked for a little while and then he and I and my Dad went and had a cup of coffee and talked a little more about our backgrounds and whatnot.

The next day Dad and I brought some stuff up to the dorm and started to unpack. I was still feeling pretty uneasy about this whole getting abandoned in Europe thing. It is still overwhelming, being this far from home and not knowing the town or the people or the customs. As we were unpacking though it seemed like the space would be big enough for all of my stuff.... until we came back today with the *rest* of my things.

First of all, the bathroom is TINY and the light doesn't even work properly! When we were here for the first time we noticed the light was flickering... good thing I don't have epilepsy... and reported it to the *go to* guy for the Wentworth building. Well as I write this the light in the bathroom is still flickering at me... and the light above the desk is going out... and I have discovered that the bathroom sink does not drain. /sigh Dorm life I guess?

I met some really nice people today and I am feeling a little more comfortable in these surroundings. Although, I know when my Dad leaves in a few days it is going to become that much more difficult for me. It has been REALLY nice having him here to help me with this whole process. If I had come out here by myself I would have turned around and gone home the next day... seriously.

Well.. we will see what tomorrow brings! Tomorrow is orientation day so maybe I will start to feel better as I learn more about the university.

Polio, really?

So the other day (on my birthday actually) I went and got all the immunizations I need in order to gain clearance for entry into the U.K. I thought I was only going to need 3 shots but I ended up getting 6 :( It made me a little sick... I'm not really sure you should get 6 at once, but at least I am all shot up and ready to go.

I have also received my U.K student Visa! Yay! So there is nothing else needed for me to do until I actually arrive at York! I have my Visa, I have my housing, and I have all my shots. I'm starting to get slightly nervous about actually going over there... moving all the way on the other side of the world knowing absolutely no one! However, this is an experience that not many people get to have and I am going to try to make the most of it. Not many people get to live their dreams, and I am going to be one of those lucky few who do.

Now to just pass the time until I take off (October 4).... since I no longer have to worry about anything related to York until I actually arrive there, I don't know what to do with my time!

Visa update!

Last week I went and got all my biometrics done for my visa - basically I went to this office where they took a picture of me in bad lighting and then scanned my fingerprints into a computer. Now all I have to do is gather all of my supporting documents and send them off to LA to be processed. My only concern is I think they want me to mail them my passport....which would not be cool. I will have to call them in the morning to figure that part out.

Money, it's a drag...

I have finally gotten conformation that my PLUS loan and Stafford loans have been approved! *yay* This means that I have my funding for my first year of studies at the University of York. Now what needs to happen is I need to hear back from the graduate office so I can submit my application for housing. I am hoping to move into my dorm room a week or so before classes start so I can roam campus and the town to get acquainted with my new area.

I'll let you know when I hear about my housing - I hope I get a room with a view!

Money, Money, Money....

So I am *still* trying to finalize all the information regarding my loans for my studies at the University. After about three months of talking to the same people over and over, it seems progress is finally being made. Now I am just waiting for my loans to be certified by my lenders - they have finally be certified by the school. So...still I wait!

Royal Mail

My official offer letter came by Royal Mail yesterday - how fancy! I have officially accepted the offer to study at the University starting in October. I have to say, it was pretty awesome to see my name, my supervising professors name, and my topic of research on an official piece of paper like that. I have been building my research topic for the better part of two years so it is really rewarding to see that my concept is going to become a concrete project.

I am just starting to get annoying that every time I make progress in finalizing all the details, something else pops up. My lender still needs some kind of conformation from the school before the loans can be finalized... which, I think the school will give once they receive the paper I sent back yesterday saying I accecpt the offer to study. Then once the school can give its conformation, I need the lender to write an offical letter to the school telling them how much they are willing to give me in British Pounds.

Its like.. I finally move from A to B...but then realize in order to get to C, I have to go over the hills, through the woods, across a tightrope, then complete a rubix cube puzzle while wandering through a hedgemaze. All in platform shoes.

All this confusion is 100% worth the trouble - I just want to be able to secure everything down so I can relax and revel in the accomplishment I have made in getting accecpted to the school in the first place.

Loan Approved!

It is official - my loans have been approved! *dances and cheers* Now the school has 30 days to get back to my lender in order to confirm that I am indeed a student at the University. I have written the graduate department on multiple occasions inquiring about my acceptance letter as well as conformation for my lender but have not heard anything back as of yet. If I don't hear anything back in a few days I am going to have to bite the bullet and call over the pond. I don't want to have to go through the application process for my loans again... it was actually more painful then I had expected.

But yay - it seems everything is falling into place!